DC Trying to Troll Philadelphia is Like Me Trying to Race Usain Bolt


In terms of major cities, Washington, D.C. does get mentioned usually, because it’s the capitol. Most people that have been to it though don’t put it in the league of actual big cities. It’s not New York, or LA, or Chicago, for sure. People who have been to both New York and Washington chuckle when someone tries to couple the two as “major” American cities. New York is. Washington is just our capitol.

Of course, DC’s inferiority complex often gets it into fights it doesn’t need to be in. You know, like when a writer at it’s major paper tries to “big dog” the city of a million-and-a-half residents two hours up I-95, Philadelphia. I mean, for real, Washington has 650,000 residents, no skyline, no food culture, a failing sports culture, weird residents, and is basically the most universally hated city in the country. It’s home to the most loathed institution in the Western Hemisphere, Congress. I mean, it’s got Georgetown, but yeah…. DC is a nice town.

Of course, Frances S. Sellers of the Washington Post wrote an article about the Papal visit, which will go through DC, New York City, and of course, Philadelphia, and in doing so, she attempted to make it seem like DC is equipped to handle this visit, and Philadelphia isn’t. Based on the article, you’d think Philadelphia is a bunch of quiet, cobblestone streets, and DC is Metropolis. Of course, she basically claimed that Washington AND New York City are equipped for this. She got the New York half right.

First and foremost, Philadelphia is a far superior city to Washington in just about every way possible. I wouldn’t be shocked if Northeast Philadelphia has more residents than DC. Philadelphia was our first, and best, capitol. Philadelphia has better food, better museums, and better entertainment in general. DC is a city of failing sports franchises, while say what you will, Philadelphia won a title in 2008 (they haven’t in quite some time in the major four sports). Philly will take their Georgetown and raise them a Penn. They’ll take Ben’s Chili Bowl, and raise them Pat’s Steaks. Oh yeah, Philadelphia also has a bunch of tall buildings in the middle of it that we call a “skyline.” Yes, they have the Capitol, where that loathed Congress is, but we have Independence Mall, where modern democracy was born. When you go into a Philadelphia bar, no one will bother you with discussions of the tax code either, they’re down-to-Earth, normal people. Philadelphia is a major American city, in fact the fifth largest one in the country. DC is a large town with a couple of cool, small buildings in it.

Beyond those comparisons, Philadelphia has experience running major events successfully lately, which contrasts with DC. In the Fall of 2008, the City of Brotherly Love hosted a parade for the World Series Champion Phillies (Natitude?LOL) that had over a million people in attendance. It went off without hitch. A few short weeks later, Washington, DC had President Obama’s First Inauguration, which was plagued by a crowd the city couldn’t handle, and of course, the “Purple Tunnel of Doom.” The contrast in the orderly, efficient Philadelphia event and the chaotic mess that DC held is clear. This is very relevant heading into this Papal visit.

Washington seems to have a habit of desperately trying to be one of the big boys. Philadelphia is our oldest big city, and one of our biggest five. Washington Post writers trying to pretend that DC is better equipped than “that little town up I-95” not only sound ridiculous, but are ridiculous. I’m sure that New York will handle the Pope very well. I’m sure that Philadelphia will handle the Pope’s visit without incident. Despite my scathing critique of DC here, Washington will handle the Pope just fine. If there are any issues in the preparation in any of the cities, let me remind Ms. Sellers that it is a DC-based agency, the Secret Service, that is running this visit’s security.

Anyway, nice try by DC to be relevant.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: